My Bloody Valentine 3D: Review
by Matthew Razak, DC Movie Examiner
As a general rule of thumb established by my all time favorite horror film Evil Dead 2, if a slasher flick doesn't have someone's head falling off within the first ten minutes it's not going to be truly great. My Bloody Valentine 3D pretty much takes care of this in the first two minutes and then doesn't stop coating the screen in blood until... well, actually it never stops. The film knows that its job is to slaughter as many people as possible and sets about doing it as well as one can hope for.
But plenty of horror films are gore coated murder-fests and still stink, so it is impressive that Valentine, a remake of the original by the same name, is also a solid installment in the genre with a few twist and turns that elevate it above the normal dreck. Not that it truly lives up to the 1981 original's low-budget horror stylings, but it certainly lives up to the levels of blood that those early slasher films loved to throw at the screen.
Ten year's after a horrible mine accident kills five men and turns the only known survivor, Harry Warden, into a pickax wielding maniac, Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles) returns to the town his father's coal mine keeps alive to close said mine down for good. Unfortunatley, his return also heralds the return of Warden, who everyone thought was dead, and Hanniger gets framed for the murders with only his ex-girlfriend Sarah Palmer (Jaime King) believing that he isn't the one dressing up like a miner and slaughtering people. Then again, maybe he is. That's the real beauty of My Bloody Valentine, it's as much a mystery as it is a blood bath.
Now I'm not saying that the mystery is an especially great one, but when the other option for a plot is a group of idiot teens running around from an invulnerable, lumbering, masked man almost anything is better and this mystery is way better. Still, the real strength is in the gore, which is everywhere. I'm not sure if I am impressed or horrified by the variety of ways the creators game up with killing people with a pickax, but I can tell you it's disturbingly fun to watch -- especially in 3D.
This might actually be the best 3D movie I've seen since from the recent spate of 3D films that has started to hit theaters. This is partly because the genre is perfectly set-up for the cheesiness that 3D is often associated with (stop, sticking that gun barrel right in the camera!) and partly because as a slasher film it stands on its own. Unlike films like Journy to the Center of the Earth, which have utilized the same RealD technology, Valentine is good on its own with the 3D effects being an added bonus instead of the only reason the film is enjoyable.
It's truly refreshing to see a solid American slasher film again. Too many horror films are tripping over into half hearted J-horror and sometimes one just needs some classic blood on the screen. Well here it is in glorious 3D. My Bloody Valentine is full of everything that makes B-Grade horror great: blood, blood and blood.
As a general rule of thumb established by my all time favorite horror film Evil Dead 2, if a slasher flick doesn't have someone's head falling off within the first ten minutes it's not going to be truly great. My Bloody Valentine 3D pretty much takes care of this in the first two minutes and then doesn't stop coating the screen in blood until... well, actually it never stops. The film knows that its job is to slaughter as many people as possible and sets about doing it as well as one can hope for.
But plenty of horror films are gore coated murder-fests and still stink, so it is impressive that Valentine, a remake of the original by the same name, is also a solid installment in the genre with a few twist and turns that elevate it above the normal dreck. Not that it truly lives up to the 1981 original's low-budget horror stylings, but it certainly lives up to the levels of blood that those early slasher films loved to throw at the screen.
Ten year's after a horrible mine accident kills five men and turns the only known survivor, Harry Warden, into a pickax wielding maniac, Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles) returns to the town his father's coal mine keeps alive to close said mine down for good. Unfortunatley, his return also heralds the return of Warden, who everyone thought was dead, and Hanniger gets framed for the murders with only his ex-girlfriend Sarah Palmer (Jaime King) believing that he isn't the one dressing up like a miner and slaughtering people. Then again, maybe he is. That's the real beauty of My Bloody Valentine, it's as much a mystery as it is a blood bath.
Now I'm not saying that the mystery is an especially great one, but when the other option for a plot is a group of idiot teens running around from an invulnerable, lumbering, masked man almost anything is better and this mystery is way better. Still, the real strength is in the gore, which is everywhere. I'm not sure if I am impressed or horrified by the variety of ways the creators game up with killing people with a pickax, but I can tell you it's disturbingly fun to watch -- especially in 3D.
This might actually be the best 3D movie I've seen since from the recent spate of 3D films that has started to hit theaters. This is partly because the genre is perfectly set-up for the cheesiness that 3D is often associated with (stop, sticking that gun barrel right in the camera!) and partly because as a slasher film it stands on its own. Unlike films like Journy to the Center of the Earth, which have utilized the same RealD technology, Valentine is good on its own with the 3D effects being an added bonus instead of the only reason the film is enjoyable.
It's truly refreshing to see a solid American slasher film again. Too many horror films are tripping over into half hearted J-horror and sometimes one just needs some classic blood on the screen. Well here it is in glorious 3D. My Bloody Valentine is full of everything that makes B-Grade horror great: blood, blood and blood.
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